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| Rated: 3.00/5 | Votes: 3 | Views: 156 |Submitted: 12/29/07 |
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ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM
If Fox made as good a film as they make their trailers, then they'd be churning out some of the coolest movies ever made on a nonstop basis. Case and point, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, the much-anticipated follow-up to 2004's clash of the movie monster titans. After leaving a bad taste in the mouths of fans the first time around, AVP-R's ads seemed to promise that Fox had learned from their mistakes, that the latest rumble between the titular creatures would be bigger, better, and bloodier. Instead, the flick ends up leaning more towards a different sort of "B" word: boring. AVP-R picks up immediately where the previous film left off, with a spaceship piloted by those intergalactic hunters known as Predators crash-landing in a forest outside of the small town of Gunnison. Let loose into our world are not only numerous alien "facehuggers" (named so after how they impregnate victims with their vicious offspring) but also the Predalien, a beastly hybrid of the two species. It's not long before the rapidly-growing beasties cause all hell to break loose in Gunnison, leaving a dwindling band of surviving townspeople, including the sheriff (John Ortiz) and a returning soldier (Reiko Aylesworth), to try and fight off their increasing hordes. But also making its way into town is none other than a Predator, called from its homeworld to clean up this mess once and for all, resulting in as much of a threat to the people of Gunnison as the Predalien and its minions. For all intents and purposes, the first AVP wasn't that bad of a movie. Sure, after all those years shared between the franchises, it didn't exactly live up to all of the fans' demands, but for what it was, it was a slick, well-designed, and cheesily entertaining monster mash (even with a PG-13 rating). In any respect, AVP-R certainly looked like it was going to up the ante in every way possible, but what it ends up doing instead is wasting even more potential. Fans have been clamoring for ages to see the eponymous sci-fi icons to toe-to-toe in our world, but to give you an idea of what little AVP-R does with this juicy premise, imagine if Warner Bros. made Ocean's Fourteen and set it in a bathroom at the Bellagio. Instead of taking advantage of the situation they've created, filmmaking brothers Colin and Greg Strause do little more than rehash tired horror cliches, having characters slowly sneak around dark places and throwing in enough fake-out scares to make you want to sucker-punch the projectionist. Sure, there are a scant few moments where AVP-R unleashes a bit of a darker, more extreme side than some might come to expect. Shane Salerno's script pulls a daring move by actually killing off a youngster, something you'd have to go back to the '80s version of The Blob to see happen, and the Predalien's method of spawning more monsters is an icky upgrade from that of the facehuggers. However, other than these moments, not to mention a go-for-broke climax where the Aliens, the Predator, and the humans make their last stands, AVP-R seems strangely devoid of real excitement or atmosphere. Somehow, the Predator just seems too damn slow-moving to feel threatening, and the Aliens are relegated to slinking around in the shadows, occasionally popping out for an "OOGAH-BOOGAH!" scare or two. As far as the human characters go, their collective plights and subplots combine to form what feels like a particularly violent episode of "Dawson's Creek," serving up a slate of forgettable faces, save for Aylesworth's character, whom I'm willing to bet was told to do her best Sigourney Weaver impression before the cameras rolled. The word "requiem" means, according to Dictionary.com, "a dirge for the repose of the dead." Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem must have a lot of stock invested in moviegoers' concern for its slew of slain characters, but it's all for not, as the only death knell this flick signifies is that of the franchise's ability to turn out a wholly entertaining movie anytime soon. MY RATING: ** (out of ****) Reviewer: A.J. Hakari |
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