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| Rated: 0.00/5 | Votes: 1 | Views: 147 |Submitted: 07/16/09 |
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ONE MISSED CALL 3: FINAL
If I've learned anything over the course of my love affair with horror, it's that the word "final" means bupkis. From Final Destination to The Final Conflict, filmmakers can talk about wrapping things up 'til the cows come home, but you know in your heart of hearts that never will they let a sleeping franchise lie. One Missed Call 3: Final is the latest would-be denouement to offer itself to the skepticism and raised eyebrow of many a horror buff. I never much cared for this series to start, but even with expectations lowered to a protozoan level, this stinkburger still managed to disappoint. One Missed Call 3 probably won't be the last we hear of these movies, but if the filmmakers possess any mercy, they'll end them before Asian horror suffers further embarrassment. As our story begins, the fateful phone call that notifies its recipients of their impending death has since become the stuff of urban legends. It's also decided to go international, as a troup of high schoolers are on a class trip to Korea when the supernatural butts into the picture. One student receives a disturbing picture of her own corpse, a ghastly sight which comes true the next day. In no time at all, the other kids are beset with cryptic texts advising them to be forwarded if they want to live. But as her classmates quickly succumb to paranoia, young Emiri (Meisa Kuroki) learns that the curse has allied itself with bullied schoolgirl Asuka (Maki Horikita). Asuka uses the power at her fingertips to strike back at her tormenters, leaving it up to Emiri to soothe her rage before death decides to give her a jingle next. I guess One Missed Call 3 goes to show that you can't keep a good curse down, 'cause man, is this a humdinger. Keeping itself relatively restrained for two movies, the franchise has made like Ju-On and decided to do whatever the hell it wants. No longer is it bound by borders or even cell phones, its reign of terror now encompassing the information superhighway. The film does away with the three-day grace period, deaths often occuring within seconds of receiving the text of doom. All of this is done to give the story a greater sense of urgency, infusing those lovable J-horror chestnuts with equal parts Agatha Christie and Final Destination. But it does so at the expense of what precious little credibility it has left; like the cheapest of horror movies, One Missed Call 3 changes the rules without the slightest explanation. Worse yet, it expects you to run with it, adding "insulting" next to "confusing" and "boring" onto the pile of adjectives it's acquired. But the final twist of the knife comes when One Missed Call 3 falls pathetically short of what it set out to do. One can see it wasn't content with just leading another crop of mouth-breathers to the slaughter, attempting to inject an overarching theme into the mix. I liked the inclusion of a flesh-and-blood antagonist whose own agenda is given a ghostly boost, and all in all, the acting was solid (though Kuroki gets bonus points for being as cute as several bags of buttons). But for one reason or another, the picture bade farewell not just to its ambition but to the elements that made it a One Missed Call entry. It ditches the scant few plot devices making it somewhat unique, effectively rendering it no different than any other film featuring possessed technology and a villainess with an aversion to Supercuts. The film even denies viewers of any spectacular death scenes, settling instead for some hilariously awful set pieces that would put Ghost of Mae Nak to shame. One Missed Call 3: Final is the sort of film usually acknowledged with a disappointed sigh. With most sequels looked down upon to begin with, this one puts forth not even the bare minimum of effort towards justifying its existence. It's not fun, it's not scary, and it's definitely not the pick-me-up Asian horror could use right about now. MY RATING: * 1/2 (out of ****) Reviewer: A.J. Hakari |
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